Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex

Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex
By: The Frisky

When it comes to men and sex, I’ve noticed that special requests usually come along the lines of an instant upgrade …

If I’m giving a hand job, they ask for a blowjob, and if I’m giving a blowjob, well, why not full-on sex? That’s simple enough for me to handle if it makes sexytime shine.

But we’re all about equality here at TheFrisky and it wouldn’t be very egalitarian of us to hint, hint, HINT, to our dudes with our Ten Things Men Forget to Do During Sex list without engaging in a little self-improvement ourselves. After the jump, we asked a few men—who, let it be known, all said, “Don’t forget to touch our balls!”—to help us out.

1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy, “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself.

2. ... but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing.

3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.)

4. Offering to let him come on your face will make his friggin‘ day. If that’s too porn-y for you, let him come on your chest instead.

5. That slow, gentle, tender sex you’re having? It’s probably for your benefit, not his.

“Guys love the express train 90 percent of the time, so get off the local!”

Maybe just be clear that there should be a fast sex/slow sex balance in the relationship, lest he think you like the jackhammering as much as he does.

6. Men don’t only love penis massages—they love back and shoulder massages, too. Making him come then rolling him over and mounting his butt to administer a back massage is a lovely way to bring on A Post-Coital Man Nap.

7. Wait to hop in the shower and wash all that dirty, dirty sex off.

“Come back to bed after you’re done warding off a UTI in the loo when we’re finished—there’s nothing like savoring the moment.”

Aww, they get lonely when we leave them in bed by themselves!

8. Boys have nipples, too, and sometimes, they can be very sensitive. His junk isn’t the only place he wants you to kiss!

9. Assume your guy’s anus is feeling neglected, too.

“Don’t forget that some guys like a pinkie in the ass.”

He just might be too embarrassed to ask for it, so let your fingers wander and see what happens.

10. Get out of the bedroom.

“Women forget to have sex anywhere other than in bed without guidance.”

I think this means he likes to do it in the shower?

10 Weird Human Sex Facts

1. During sweaty sex, men ooze testosterone. And it’s actually a biological turn on for women!

2. There’s almost 500 different types of bacteria in your mouth. Almost 50% of them live on your tongue. So perhaps the French Kiss should be renamed the Twice As Dirty Kiss.

3. One out of seventeen, or 400,000,000 people have sex a day. 4,000 people are doing it right now! So, the world is a rockin’, don’t go a knockin’.

4. Turn up the heat, in every way. The hotter the room, the fiercer the orgasm. Vasocongestion, or the heat flush on your skin, is akin to blushing from sex.

5. Your vagina is also a great swim coach. The pelvic spasms caused by an orgasm actually move sperm up stream towards fertilizing your eggs.

6. Pops likes to get it on. Seventy-three-percent of 70-year-old men are still potent. Whoa, down boy!

7. The endorphins released during sex actually relieve a headache. So that old excuse isn’t just tired, it’s just plain wrong!

8. Back in 1609, Dr. Wecker found a dead man with two peckers! Since, 80 cases of double headers have been reported. But no word on whether or not those guys ever got them both on in a threesome.

9. You can go from zero to 60 fast! The fastest speed a sexy sensation can travel from your va-jay-jay to your brain has been clocked at the Ferrari-fast speed of 156 mph.

10. Erotic asphyxiation didn’t just kill INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence. Cutting off oxygen to your brain to feel a strong new sensation during sex causes around 500 American deaths every year.

Women with emotional intelligence have better sex lives

BEAUTY may bag you a man – but brains will bring you more fun in the bedroom.

Women blessed with “emotional intelligence” – the ability to express their feelings and read those of others – have better sex lives, research shows.

Those most in touch with their feelings have twice as many orgasms as inhibited sorts, the study found.

The finding could lead to new ways of counselling the 40 per cent of women who find it difficult or impossible to enjoy sex fully.

Researcher Tim Spector of King’s College London said there were definite advantages to being a touchy-feely type.

“These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life, including the bedroom,” he said.

Professor Spector questioned more than 2,000 female twins, aged between 18 and 83, about their sex lives.

They were asked to rate their ability to reach orgasm on a seven-point scale, ranging from “never” to “always”.

They also filled in a questionnaire designed to gauge their emotional intelligence and covering traits such as self expression, empathy and contentment.

Those most in touch with their feelings had the most orgasms, the Journal of Sexual Medicine reports.

Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also of King’s College, London, said: “Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women’s sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.’”

Emotional intelligence may also make it easier for women to fantasise while in the bedroom.

Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr said it was difficult, but not impossible, for women to lose their inhibitions.

Dr Spurr, whose books include Sizzling Sex and Fabulous Foreplay, said: ‘It is not easy, the way we express ourselves is very habitual and affects our relationships and sexual relationships.

‘It is not about waving a magic wand, it takes someone who is committed to learning new ways of communicating, to being open to intimacy and to putting their emotional self out there.”

Other research has concluded that foreplay adds little to a woman’s overall enjoyment of sex.

The main event itself is far more important, the study found. The recent finding contradicts traditional bedroom etiquette, which dictates that men must take it slow.

More than 2,300 women were quizzed about their sex lives for the study, with questions covering the division of time between foreplay and intercourse, and how often the women had an orgasm.

“In contrast to the assumptions of many sex therapists and educators, more attention should be given to improve quality and duration of intercourse rather than foreplay,” the Scottish and Czech Republic researchers stated.

20 Hilarious School Exam Answers

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Top ten blog design mistakes to avoid

Today, I want to present Jakob Nielsen’s publication on many blogs, which are too internally focused and ignore key usability issues, making it hard for new readers to understand the site and trust the author. The original article was published in 2005, but it is even more important for the bloggers than before.

Weblogs are a form of website. The thousands of normal website usability guidelines therefore apply to them, as do this year's top ten design mistakes. But weblogs are also a special genre of website; they have unique characteristics and thus distinct usability problems.

One of a weblog's great benefits is that it essentially frees you from "Web design." You write a paragraph, click a button, and it's posted on the Internet. No need for visual design, page design, interaction design, information architecture, or any programming or server maintenance.

Blogs make having a simple website much easier, and as a result, the number of people who write for the Web has exploded. This is a striking confirmation of the importance of ease of use.

Weblogs' second benefit is that they're a Web-native content genre: they rely on links, and short postings prevail. You don't have to write a full article or conduct original research or reporting. You can simply find something interesting on another site and link to it, possibly with commentary or additional examples. Obviously, this is much easier than running a conventional site, and again indicates the benefits of lowering the barriers to computer use.

As a third benefit, blogs are part of an ecosystem (often called the Blogosphere) that serves as a positive feedback loop: Whatever good postings exist are promoted through links from other sites. More reader/writers see this good stuff, and the very best then get linked to even more. As a result, link frequency follows a Zipf distribution, with disproportionally more links to the best postings.

Some weblogs are really just private diaries intended only for a handful of family members and close friends. Usability guidelines generally don't apply to such sites, because the readers' prior knowledge and motivation are incomparably greater than those of third-party users. When you want to reach new readers who aren't your mother, however, usability becomes important.

Also, while readers of your intranet weblog might know you, usability is important because your readers are on company time.


Usability Issues

To reach new readers and respect your existing readers' time constraints, test your weblog against the following usability problems.

1. No Author Biographies

Unless you're a business blog, you probably don't need a full-fledged "about us" section the way a corporate site does. That said, the basic rationale for "about us" translates directly into the need for an "about me" page on a weblog: users want to know who they're dealing with.

It's a simple matter of trust. Anonymous writings have less credence than something that's signed. And, unless a person's extraordinarily famous, it's not enough to simply say that Joe Blogger writes the content. Readers want to know more about Joe. Does he have any credentials or experience in the field he's commenting on? (Even if you don't have formal credentials, readers will trust you more if you're honest about that fact, set forth your informal experience, and explain the reason for your enthusiasm.)

2. No Author Photo

Even weblogs that provide author bios often omit the author photo. A photo is important for two reasons:

• It offers a more personable impression of the author. You enhance your credibility by the simple fact that you're not trying to hide. Also, users relate more easily to somebody they've seen.
• It connects the virtual and physical worlds. People who've met you before will recognize your photo, and people who've read your site will recognize you when you meet in person (say, at a conference — or the company cafeteria if you're an intranet blogger).

A huge percentage of the human brain is dedicated to remembering and recognizing faces. For many, faces work better than names. I learned this lesson myself in 1987 when I included my photo in a HyperCard stack I authored that was widely disseminated on Mac-oriented BBSs. Over the next two years, countless people came up to me and said, "I liked your stack," having recognized me from the photo.

Also, if you run a professional blog and expect to be quoted in the press, you should follow the recommendations for using the Web for PR and include a selection of high-resolution photos that photo editors can download.

3. Nondescript Posting Titles

Sadly, even though weblogs are native to the Web, authors rarely follow the guidelines for writing for the Web in terms of making content scannable. This applies to a posting's body text, but it's even more important with headlines. Users must be able to grasp the gist of an article by reading its headline. Avoid cute or humorous headlines that make no sense out of context.

Your posting's title is micro content and you should treat it as a writing project in its own right. On a value-per-word basis, headline writing is the most important writing you do.

Descriptive headlines are especially important for representing your weblog in search engines, newsfeeds (RSS), and other external environments. In those contexts, users often see only the headline and use it to determine whether to click into the full posting. Even if users see a short abstract along with the headline (as with most search engines), user testing shows that people often read only the headline. In fact, people often read only the first three or four words of a headline when scanning a list of possible places to go. Sample bad headlines:

• What Is It That You Want?
• Hey, kids! Comics!
• Victims Abandoned

Sample good headlines:

• Pictures from Die Hunns and Black Halos show
• Office Depot Pays United States $4.75 Million to Resolve False Claims Act Allegations
  (too long, but even if you only read the first few words, you have an idea of what it's about)
• Ice cream trucks as church marketing

This last headline works on a church-related blog. If you're writing an ice cream industry blog, start the headline with the word "church" because it's the information-carrying word within a context of all ice cream, all the time.

In browsing weblog headline listings to extract these examples, I noticed several headlines in ALL CAPS. That's always bad. Reading speed is reduced by 10% and users are put off by the appearance of shouting.

4. Links Don't Say Where They Go

Many weblog authors seem to think it's cool to write link anchors like: "some people think" or "there's more here and here." Remember one of the basics of the Web: Life is too short to click on an unknown. Tell people where they're going and what they'll find at the other end of the link.

Generally, you should provide predictive information in either the anchor text itself or the immediately surrounding words. You can also use link titles for supplementary information that doesn't fit with your content.

A related mistake in this category is to use insider shorthand, such as using first names when you reference other writers or weblogs. Unless you're writing only for your friends, don't alienate new visitors by appearing to be part of a closed clique. The Web is not high school.

5. Classic Hits are Buried

Hopefully, you'll write some pieces with lasting value for readers outside your fan base. Don't relegate such classics to the archives, where people can only find something if they know you posted it, say, in May 2003.

Also, remember to link to your past pieces in newer postings. Don't assume that readers have been with you from the beginning; give them background and context in case they want to read more about your ideas.

6. The Calendar is the Only Navigation

A timeline is rarely the best information architecture, yet it's the default way to navigate weblogs. Most weblog software provides a way to categorize postings so users can easily get a list of all postings on a certain topic. Do use categorization, but avoid the common mistake of tagging a posting with almost all of your categories. Be selective. Decide on a few places where a posting most belongs.

Categories must be sufficiently detailed to lead users to a thoroughly winnowed list of postings. At the same time, they shouldn't be so detailed that users face a category menu that's overly long and difficult to scan. Ten to twenty categories are appropriate for structuring many topics.

On the main page for each category, highlight that category's evergreens as well as a time line of its most recent postings.

7. Irregular Publishing Frequency

Establishing and meeting user expectations is one of the fundamental principles of Web usability. For a weblog, users must be able to anticipate when and how often updates will occur.

For most weblogs, daily updates are probably best, but weekly or even monthly updates might work as well, depending on your topic. In either case, pick a publication schedule and stick to it. If you usually post daily but sometimes let months go by without new content, you'll lose many of your loyal — and thus most valuable — readers.

Certainly, you shouldn't post when you have nothing to say. Polluting cyberspace with excess information is a sin. To ensure regular publishing, hold back some ideas and post them when you hit a dry spell.

8. Mixing Topics

If you publish on many different topics, you're less likely to attract a loyal audience of high-value users. Busy people might visit a blog to read an entry about a topic that interests them. They're unlikely to return, however, if their target topic appears only sporadically among a massive range of postings on other topics. The only people who read everything are those with too much time on their hands (a low-value demographic).

The more focused your content, the more focused your readers. That, again, makes you more influential within your niche. Specialized sites rule the Web, so aim tightly. This is especially important if you're in the business-to-business (B2B) sector.

If you have the urge to speak out on, say, both American foreign policy and the business strategy of Internet telephony, establish two blogs. You can always interlink them when appropriate.

9. Forgetting That You Write for Your Future Boss

Whenever you post anything to the Internet — whether on a weblog, in a discussion group, or even in an email — think about how it will look to a hiring manager in ten years. Once stuff's out, it's archived, cached, and indexed in many services that you might never be aware of.

Years from now, someone might consider hiring you for a plum job and take the precaution of snooping you first. (Just taking a stab at what's next after Google. Rest assured: there will be some super-snooper service that'll dredge up anything about you that's ever been bitified.) What will they find in terms of naïvely puerile "analysis" or offending nasty flames published under your name?

Think twice before posting. If you don't want your future boss to read it, don't post.

10. Having a Domain Name Owned by a Weblog Service

Having a weblog address ending in blogspot.com, typepad.com, etc. will soon be the equivalent of having an @aol.com email address or a Geocities website: the mark of a naïve beginner who shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Letting somebody else own your name means that they own your destiny on the Internet. They can degrade the service quality as much as they want. They can increase the price as much as they want. They can add atop your content as many pop-ups, blinking banners, or other user-repelling advertising techniques as they want. They can promote your competitor's offers on your pages. Yes, you can walk, but at the cost of your loyal readers, links you've attracted from other sites, and your search engine ranking.

The longer you stay at someone else's domain name, the higher the cost of going independent. Yes, it's tempting to start a new weblog on one of the services that offer free accounts. It's easy, it's quick, and it's obviously cheap. But it only costs $8 per year to get your personal domain name and own your own future. As soon as you realize you're serious about blogging, move it away from a domain name that's controlled by somebody else. The longer you delay, the more pain you'll feel when you finally make the move.

Source: http://www.useit.com/alertbox/weblogs.html

filipino laugh jokes

* Miss, hindi ka pa ba napapagod? Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko.

* Mahilig ka ba sa crayola? Ikaw kasi nagbibigay kulay sa buhay ko.

* Exam ka ba? Gusto na kasi kitang i-take home!

* Me lisensya ka ba? Coz you’re driving me crazy.

* Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

Iniisip ko lang bakit kelangan pa-cute ang mga pick up lines. Ang alam ko, ang gusto ng ibang babae, ‘yung may pagka-maginoong medyo brutal. Dapat ganito:

* Hey, para ka namang kulangot, you’re playing hard to get.

* Peyborit fud mo ba ang Alpo? You’re bitchier than my dog.

* Para kang kuto, I can’t get you out of my head.

---------------
Paalam!


Inday: Mam, magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsya.

Amo: Nagpaalam ka na ba sa sir mo?

Inday: Nauna na po siya. Doon na raw po kami sa bahay magkikita!

----------
Ang aking alagang pusa!


Guro: Paking, pakibasa nga yung hindi bababa sa isang daang salitang essay mo tungkol sa iyong alagang pusa!

Paking: Opo mam! Ang aking alagang pusa. Ang pangalan nya ay Mingming. Kahapon, nawala sya. Hinanap ko sya! Sabi ko ”Ming? Ming? Ming? Mingming! Mingming? Mingming! Ming!Ming? Ming?Ming? Mingming! Ming? Ming? Ming? Ming! Ming! Ming? Ming? Ming? Mingming! Ming? Ming?Ming? Mingming! Ming? Ming? Ming? Ming? Mingming? Ming?Ming? Ming! Ming! Ming? Ming? Ming? Ming! Ming? Ming? Ming? Mingming?!” Ang aking pusa.

-------
ATAPANG A-PEDRO, atbp

•ATAPANG A-PEDRO

Pedro: “Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute! “

Leo: “Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan? “

Pedro: “Dun sa burol nya!”

----------------------
Matalino!
Monday, September 24th, 2007

Boy: Tay, pag malaki ba ang etits ibig sabihin matalino?

Tatay: Aba oo anak! Kaya nga napakatalino ko e. Asan nanay mo?

Boy: Andun po sa kwarto may kasamang genius.


------------------
Walang panty

Boy: Nene, wala kang suot na panty no?

Nene: Wala nga! Pano mo alam?

Boy: May balakubak kasi sa sapatos mo.








Saan matatagpuan ang Diyos?
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

Guro: Mga bata, alam nyo ba kung saan matatagpuan ang Diyos?

Boy: Mam sa kubeta po namin!!!

Guro: Ha?! Pano mo naman nasabi yon?

Boy: Kasi narinig ko sabi ng lola ko kaninang umaga, “Diyos ko, kanina ka pa dyan sa kubeta ano ba!”


---------------
Si Carmen
Saturday, May 5th, 2007

Boy: Miss anong pangalan mo?

Girl: Carmen!

Boy: Bakit Carmen?

Carmen: Mahilig ksi ako sa Car at Men! Ikaw anong pangalan mo?

Boy: Pepe.


--------------
Naniniko
Boy sinisiko si Nene.

Nene: Mam! Mam! Si Boy o sinisiko ako!

Teacher: Boy! Hindi mo ba alam na masakit ang maniko?

Boy: Eh Mam, bat pa kayo pumasok?!


-------
Pangarap ng mga bata

Juan: Pag laki ko gusto ko magla CRV!

Pedro: Ako sana RAV4

Boy: Ako sana pekpek!

Juan at Pedro: Bakit pekpek?!

Boy: Ang ate ko dahil sa pekpek nya nagka BMW at Pajero sya!

------------
Meron akong…


Teacher: Boy, kung meron akong 5 anak sa una kong asawa at 6 na anak sa pangalawa, samakatuwid, meron akong…

Boy: Malaking pekpek mam!

-------------
Lipstick

Apo: Lolo bat naka lipstick ka?

Lolo: Ay gagang lola mo hindi sinabing may regla sya!

----------
Ulan ng etits

Apo: Lola pano kung isang araw ay umulan ng etits? Ano ang gagawin nyo?

Lola: Naku apo, makulimlim pa lang, hubad na ako!



------
Rayuma!

Lolo 1: Grabe ang rayuma ko, sa nginig ng kamay ko, nagkakasugat-sugat muka pag nagaahit!
Lolo 2: Ako laging nabubuhos ang iniinom sa nginig ng kamay ko!
Lolo 3: Wala kayo sa nginig ng kamay ko, hawakan ko lang etits ko para umihi e nilalabasan nako!




Nasobrahan ng Viagra
Narinig nyo na ba yung isang lolo na namatay dahil sa Viagra overdose?
Wala lang namatay lang sya. May problema nga lang. Di masara ang kabaong :)












Sumusubo ng ilaw…
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

Bata1: Alam mo lola ko sumusubo ng ilaw!

Bata2: Bakit mo naman nasabi yun?

Bata1: Kasi narinig ko lola ko kagabi sabi sa lolo ko, “Hon! Patayain mo ang ilaw at isusubo ko na!







Pinaghandaan!

Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant dito sa Miss Gay pageant?

Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading…ano nga po ulit yung question?



Ibang contest?
Host: How can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?

Bading contestant: Mga bakla!!! Akala ko ba miss gay ito?! Quiz bee pala!!!




•PRUSISYON

Sa prusisyon sa may nayon:

Pari: “Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose , mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary.”

Bakla: “Kami father, saan kami susunod?”

Pari: “Mga bruha! Follow me!”




Aray! Aray!
November 2nd, 2007

May mag syotang handa nang mag duday.

Babae: Aray! Aray! Teka itigil mo muna!

Lalaki: Ano ba! Para namang hindi pa natin to nagawa noon. Bat nasasaktan ka parin?

Babae: May nahigaan akong pako tanga.




Ang ABC ayon kay ERAP!
November 1st, 2007

Dati pa ITALY ITALY lang tayo, ngayon, buong ABC na! Ahaha maraming salamat kay Boneng para sa joke na to! :)

A.B.C. - Always be careful
D.E.F. - Don’t Ever forget
G.H.I. - Go Home Immediately
J.K.L.M. - Just Keep Loving Me
N.O.P.Q.R.S.T.U.V.W. - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should Treat U Very Well
X.Y.Z. - Xee You Zoon!!





Sakit ng tyan

Juan: Dok, bakit ganon, pag umiinom ako ng beer, sumasakit tyan ko! Pero pag libre naman, hindi!

Dok: Simple lang. Sikmura mo, manipis, mukha mo makapal.








In na in!!!
October 24th, 2007

Juan: Pare, anong hayop ang in na in?

Pedro: Ano pare?

Juan: Bear!

Pedro: Bear? Bakit bear?

Juan: Kasi OSO pare, OSO.




Ganito humingi ng donasyon

Pari: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, tumayo pagtugtog ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na.

Organista: Father, ano po ang tutugtugin ko?

Pari: Lupang Hinirang iho.





Napuyat!
October 15th, 2007

Babae: Napuyat ako kagabi!

Lalaki: Bakit naman?

Babae: Nanaginip ka kagabi. Tapos nagsasalita ka. Puro pangalan ng mga babae ang sinasabi mo!

Lalaki: O pano ka napuyat?

Babae: Kaka-antay ng pangalan ko!




MAGANDANG araw BINIBINING maganda ! :)


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kuha sa pinoyspy.net


Aanhin mo ang napakalaking bahay,
masarap na pagkain,
magagarang sasakyan,
at milyong milyon na salapi..
kung kapitbahay mo naman ang may-ari...


Natuto kang lumandi magtiis ka sa hapdi

Nasa kama ang okay , nasa ospital ang hirap

Kapag leebug ang pinairal sira ang pag-aaral

walang pangit sa titing galit

pangit man daw at maliit sa paningin.. nakakabuntis pa din

mahapdi man sa unang tikim, luluwang at luluwang din





Boy: sigurado ka bang akin yan pinagbubuntis mo???
Girl: oo naman!!! tatlo na ang tinanong ko hindi daw kanila!! ikaw na lang ang natitira kaya sigurado ako sa iyo talaga ito!!!




nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. akala ng nakakakita na naloloko na siya dahil wala naman siyang itinatanim.
Guard: Sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah..
Erap: Bobo!!! Seedless ito!!!




Ina: Suwail kang anak!! Matigas ang ulo mo??? lagi ka na lang problema.. kung alam ko lang.. na lalabas kang perwisyo!!! sana chinupa ko na lang ang tatay mo!!!



Last night my pillow saw me sad.
She asked me, "Why are you crying??? tears falling on me??"
Know what i did??

Siyempre tumakbo ako!!! kaw ba namang kausapin ng unan!!! English pa!!!




Waaahhh.. grabe yung kasabay ko sa jeep sigeng kiss!!! hindi na nahiya!! gusto pa ng girl, inalis pa yung bra kita talaga yung bebe nya!! bata pa yung girl.. totoo!!! pero mas bata yung guy!!!

6 months!!!


"Walang malayong kulangot sa mahabang kuko!!"

Napakagandang qoute.
It signifies determination, creativity and hope.
Sana na-inspire ka.


Last na mga pre..... heheehehhehe Cheesy

Bakit "TT" ang tawag sa male sex organ??

kasi kapag may nakahubad TAYO-ng-TAYO

kasi kapag excited TIGAS-NG-TIGAS

kapag natapos TULO-ng-TULO

oh ikaw??
TT rin..

TAWA-ng-TAWA


Magmahal???
oo, nagawa ko n
magmakaawa??
oo, nasubukan ko na
umiyak??
oo, ilang beses na
sumuko??
hindi pa...
bakit ako susuko
mukha ba akong WANTED??
ARTISTAHIN yata ito!!!



Makulay
(makulay)

ang buhay!!!
(ang buhay)

makulay ang buhay
sa kabilang buhay!!!!

how to shutdown computer in 5 seconds

There are times when we just want the darn PC to shutdown instead of doing all the updates or some scans. But beloved windows goes through a lot of trouble in order to shutdown the computer.

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Here is a quick way to shutdown your computer within 5 seconds at times of rush, when you just want to turn it off and move on.

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Follow the steps:

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1. Open ‘Windows Task Manager’ (Ctrl+Alt+Del)

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2. Click ‘Shutdown’ (at the top next to ‘Help’)

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3. Then HOLD the ‘Ctrl’ key and Select ‘Turn Off’.

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4. …5…4….3….2…1….You PC turns off immidiately. I always do this when im in a rush etc.. It doesn’t effect the PC.

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At times you just have to do some mean things to windows.